The Wake Of My Recovery

When you came into my life,
you breathed a new passion into my soul.
You gave me a reason to face
and conquer each day with purpose, confidence.
You excited my heart and my need to love-
and I did love . . . you.
My world grew bright with all that was you
and my everything became you.
But with no warning or backward glance
you blackened my existence with your –

Beautiful lies

I felt I couldn't breathe without you.
You left me with no defense. No understanding.
Left to stumble and learn to live my life
alone, without your passion and "love. "
Time crawled when helping me to mend
my shattered soul.
Every step I made toward recovery filled
me with hate and distrust.

Bitterness.

Gone was the hope and faith. Replaced
hollowly by fear and rage.
In the wake of my recovery I left many
broken hearts. As you left mine.
After many horrid mistakes I slowly came to
realize what I should have known before.
The passion we shared, the love we had-
wasn't because of you.

It was because of me.

When with you, I wasn't myself.
And I fell.
With my new realization I began a true
recovery- discovery of the beauty within me.
Much time later I can smile at our good times
and leave the pain felt behind me.
I have blossomed into myself. I'm surrounded
by those that truly love me.
And with the pain you caused, you taught
me something else.

Self-worth.

I love myself.
And you don't deserve me.
Goodbye.

-Jayzee-