22032006

First of all, I have to make it clear that this is not a sad entry...

That is part of my life, I can't erase it or delete it and I don't think I need to do so... It will always in my mind, in a small corner of my heart... Time flies huh... If we're still together, today is the day we happily and sweetly celebrate our 2nd year anniversary... But let's back to the reality, it doesn't allowed by the magic word - FATE... And guess what, I dreamt of him last night... What a coincidence huh... Haha~

In this 1 year plus after we broken up, on and off we did keep in touch with each other... I understand him in some way and same goes to, he knows me well in some way... During the outing with Annie and Thomas last friday, I told them I'm happy that my emotion will be not affected by him anymore... Is that a success that I had actually REALLY put things down or is that a failure that I can ONLY let it go after 1 year plus?? Anyway, I MADE IT!! Let's don't think about the duration of time being spent in this... I used the word 'spent' instead of 'wasted', cos I think it is worth and considered reasonable based on the deepness of love that I'd poured to him...

I have to admit that I pour my love to him too deep too fast...

It is pointless to keep on scratching or open up my scar/wound to see and think what is it that made me feel so pain and hurt... Things that you don't understand that time, you won't even understand it now... Things that made you feel pain and hurt that time, you shouldn't keep on thinking about it as it will only make your life miserable...

What hurt me the most is... Everyone around me already know that he is gonna break up with me anytime soon but yet, I'm so stupid enough to think of different ways to save this relationship... I'm happy when he told me that he still want us to be together when we compromise and talk things out face to face... I'm completely depressed when he told me that he wanted to end this relationship by using MSN... Until now also I couldn't forget the feeling, I can still feel the pain but the pain is not because of the relationship ends anymore but for myself... I feel pain for myself... I rather he said that to me right to my face... I felt like I'm fooled around... You might say that he did that because he don't want to see me hurt, but what I wanted to say is, it is your decision to end this relationship that HURTS...

Anyway, I'm ok now...

The moral of the story...

Once you had made the decision, you should have know what is the consequence of the decision, so, don't drag!! That will only bring more pain...

We had our sweet time together as well... I will always keep that in my mind... As for the bitter part, I will take it as a lesson...

Learn to forgive, but never forget...

He is a good guy and a caring friend...

Heard one song which is sang by Twins few days back through radio, it had been quite a long time I didn't listen to this song... Considered a song that accompany me through my hardest time... Made me reflesh back some of the memories... What a coincidence again...

Let it flow, Let it flow, I can't control so let it flow, Let it flow, Let it flow, I lost my soul, So I'll let it flow...

People change, things go wrong, but just remember that life still goes on...

Again, I'm not feeling sad...

I'm glad with what I have now... I feel contented and I will always treasure and appreciate my family and my lovely buddies...

Wish you all to have a nice and happy day!!

*wink*