Hope and Fear

Ok, I'm free now.. Hehe =p

There're lots of people asking me the same question these days, which is 'When is your turn to get a bf ah?' and there're lots of people telling me the same thing these days, which is 'You'll surely find your Mr. Right who will love you very very much soon'... Ok, what I want to say is, Thanks to you all! AND Geng, this is all because of you la!!! Hahahahaha =p

I found out something, now is not only the football season but the fall-in-love season as well.. Lots of my friends are happily in love now, and the consequence to me is, the same question being asked and same wishes being said over and over again... Thanks again!! Hahaha... What else can I say besides that??

Same like many of you all, I also thought that I will feel like want to get one too after some of my friends had found their better half.. But in fact, nope... I don't have this feeling... I'm actually surprise with what I feel right now... I thought I will feel like everyone of you might think what I'll be feeling... I thought I will feel left out... But nope, really nope... Of course there's definitely a BONUS to have someone love and pamper you, but this is not about you'll get it when you want it, at least not to me... I'm not that lucky, always not...

I'm not being pessimistic here, but who knows, my life might become miserable after I'd someone stepped into my life.. Why I want to let someone in and let him ruined everything again?? Relationship is the thing that I don't want to touch the most at this moment.. I'm very clear with myself about that... Things that happened these days proves it well, I'm more certain with what I'm thinking now... Why blocking people out so fast? This is what my colleague asked me... I just smiled to him without any explaination, because, I don't know how to explain...

It's not that someone who'd stepped in and out from my life that made me felt so, it is the experience that I'd been through that holding me back.. If the things that I'm seeing or hearing now is so familiar, is the ending going to be the same as well??

I know myself very well, I can't afford to feel the unbearable pain again. You know me very well, you know how deep I'll pour my love to someone, so why I want to back to the square again?

This is kinda sad, maybe... But, this is the only way to go... to protect myself...

Anyway...

I'm still a happy person after all... No worries ya!! *wink*