I need some fresh air

~Life isn't a contest; it's a chance to do the best you can with what you have~

Mood of the day: Boring and Down

You'll know what's the real meaning of pressure and fed-up if you come to my office, don't have to be too long, just a few minutes you can feel the tensed atmosphere. They're joking and laughing as usual, we're msn-ing as usual, but each of us know, deep inside, we're all not happy. I don't understand how a company can do until all of the staffs are so fed-up and lack of confidence.

I love my colleagues. I like the friendship that we had developed among us. I feel sad to see them sad. Haih. I wish I can help them, but somehow, even myself also cannot help myself. We could just go, but something hold us back, not because of the company, it's because of the wonderful tie we had with each other, and also the feeling of not willing to give up, the tendency to try again, to challenge ourselves. We're striving hard, but we're all tired. Very tired.

I'm glad as we will still catching each other when we see one of us falls. This is just indescribable. This is one of the precious gift we get from this company. We balanced ourselves to walk in one line instead of stepping each other. We helped each other. It's not easy, really not easy to happen in a company. I appreciate and treasure it a lot. Really.

Haih.

I know I'm very moody these days, personally as well as my blog. I'm sorry if my mood swing caused some negative impact to anyone of you, I just couldn't fake it but I tried my very best to hide it. Really. I don't know how to describe my feelings right now. There's something that I can see it but I cannot catch it. I can feel it but I cannot hold it. I couldn't find anyone to talk to as I don't know how and I don't feel like to too. Maybe, what I need the most is Silence and I'll get back to my own track myself. There's something that others just can't help, even close friends, there's something that only me myself to face it and to solve it. But I know, I will get back to my own track one day.

I can see it but I cannot catch it. I can feel it but I cannot hold it. This really describes all.

Sometimes, I rather I didn't see or feel anything. Sometimes, I rather there's just nothing...