A tiny voice from an employee

I always have one thinking which is that, we can always praise people in public but if were to critisize someone's weaknesses, NEVER! This is what I called as respect.. Respect the one who being scolded by you, respect yourselves and also respect the others who don't even involved in this.. I'm just pissed off with those who likes to directly scolded someone in front of others as if he is doing a show or what.. Will this makes you look more powerful?? You will only downgraded yourselves.. And excuse me, nobody wants to watch you doing that kind of show ok..

When I was in college, I studied business. I've learnt that although management is a very general word, much easier to study compared to law or medicine or whatever, but it will never easy to manage, especially to manage people.. It is never easy to satisfy everyone's expectation and at the same time, to achieve the organization objective as well.. BUT, as a manager, with the kind of position and salary you got, this is what you need to do..

I just don't understand why there're manager who can still hope their subordinates to fight and strive for the company when the company never appreciate us.. A leader is to lead not to push.. If a leader couldn't even communicate well with their subordinates, how can the company actually expect him to talk to those VIPs or customers?

We, employees, work for the company for different objectives, somehow this should be a win-win situation.. We get what we want, it can be money or self-satisfaction or whatever and at the same time, we together work out to achieve the organization's objectives.. If a company doesn't even care about the employees' feelings and expectation, don't care about their staffs' personal objectives, or even try to change their staffs personal objectives, how you expect your staffs to actually strive and work for the company?? We felt demotivated..

They might have their own difficulties but I strongly feel that, there're certain thing, can be really solved peacefully and happily IF you have a good communication and leadership skill.. A manager who don't even know what should say and what shouldn't say.. A manager who couldn't control his own emotions.. A manager who couldn't lead well.. Yes, a manager is also a human with emotions but please bear in mind, we, employees are also human..

If you were to ask me what I've learnt from this kind of leader, one thing, I've learnt and will always remind myself not to become like them in future..

And also, I've learnt that.. this kind of working life.. will be a never-ending story no matter where I go in future.. It happens everywhere I know.. I felt sick of it..

I really hope I can just go away from this place soon.. What an awful 3 months notice..

Sigh..

p/s: I really don't understand how people can tell you how much he dun like someone and how much he hate someone but in the other hand, he can happily joking and talking with that someone.. Maybe this is a way to survive in this realistic corporate world, but how can he do that?? I mean, how can he fake it?? Which side of him is the real side?? Influencing others to no way and now he himself happily walking his own sweet path..

Gosh!! Double Gosh!!

I'm really worried I'll become one of them sooner or later..

**Double sigh**

Happy Friday!! *wink*

Life is like a river. The twists and turns along the way are meant to guide us, not stop us.

Sometimes when you really love and care about someone, a little tiny mistake he made will be like a BIG problem to you and you tends to be very angry and also.. sad... The more you love him, the more you will care about his every little action.. Funny huh.. But same goes to, you will forgive him very soon as you know you can't afford to see his sad and helpless and the ask-for-forgiveness face.. That might add some colour along the way, but just make sure the colour wouldn't poured out and make things worst, somehow, the over-poured colour is hard to be erased.. Haha.. Just my two cents..

Somehow I felt that I'm a willful bad gal.. =(

BUT!! After compared with 'someone', I think I'm good.. Wahahahaha =p

And still, he loves me very much for who I am.. *wink* =)

Talking with Ann, Thomas and Annie everyday on phone is really one of the most enjoyable moment during my working hours.. Imagine that we meet each other at least once a week and yet, we talked through phone everyday.. The bond is tight man.. Hahahahaha.. Love them so much!!! I always love the feeling when they can always finish my sentence that I haven't say it out.. *wink*

Currently looking forward to darl darl's birthday celebration.. WooHoooo!! It will be a GREAT one!! *wink wink*

Happie.. *wink*

Went for dinner at Kiku Zakura @ MidValley on Sunday night for my belated birthday celebration with my secondary school buddies.. Haha.. Thanks for the treat my dearie buddies!! The tie is still there huh.. A strong one!! Especially after they got to know about my good news, I can strongly feel that they're really sincerely happy for me.. I felt blessed at that moment.. I really felt so.. Love them so much!!

The food is GOOD!! The service is GOOD as well!! For sure I'll be going there again!!! Wahahahahhaha!! Kiku Zakura - It will be my next-super-favourite-Japanese Restaurant!! *wink* And of course, the people who are there with me that counts..!!! WoooHoooooo!!

For him...

I wish we could be like this forever!!

Loving each other so much so much..
Care for each other so much so much..
Think for each other so much so much..

Being loved by him so much so much..

*blush*

Unexpected + Shocking News

I've a got shocking news from my colleague yesterday, not only me, all of us were shocked when we got to know this unbelievable news..

Everyone were explaining to me on the reason why is it happened but still, I couldn't understand it.. Ok, maybe I'm naive, I'm still new to this corporate world, a cruel and ugly society.. Honestly, I hate this..

I only know that, from today onwards... something is not going to be the same like those days anymore.. I miss the days... Haihzz..

Good memories that we all had together, will forever stay in our heart.. He is such a GREAT colleague to me.. Wish him all the best in his future undertakings..

For those who misuse their authority to decide other's future, for those who being selfish enough to put others into difficulties in order to protect himself, for those who never protect those who are in the same line with him, you may win in this game that you got what you want, you able to achieve your dirty wish, you able to protect yourself, but what I can tell u is that, you lose something which is priceless - faith and respect..

Maybe there're another story lies behind, maybe they've their own reason for it, but for whatever is it, I just couldn't understand it..

Argh..

Today - a day after my birthday

What a moody day.. Guess I'm still floating somewhere else, perhaps Tamarind Hill or Hard Rock Cafe or even Genting.. Haha.. Still in birthday mood huh.. After the happy celebration and now I have to face the fact that I'm 22 now and I feel like I'm an old lady.. My life is dull but yet happy and contented.. Contradict huh..

Once again I want to express my sincerest appreciation and thanks to you all who celebrate my birthday with me.. Thanks for the sweet wishes, prezzies and guess what, I received 5 bouquet of flowers this year.. HAPPIE!! =) *wink*

Oh ya, yesterday I went to Bank and the Customer Service there wished me Happy Birthday.. He is sweet, isn't he? Haha.. Then a stranger sit opposite him also wishing me Happy Birthday.. I felt warm.. Hehe..

Looking forward for the photos now...

Anyway,

I felt lazy and super no mood today.. Argh!!

Happy Birthday To ME *wink*

Fri nite:
The Funniest and Coolest Birthday Celebration
My colleagues and me myself were really looking forward to this day to come.. And I really appreciate their effort to make this happened.. As I always said, they're the BEST colleagues I ever had in my life.. When the punch card machines singing sharp at 6pm, it is as if the bell of celebration and we all packed our things, happily chit chatting and off we go home to prepare for this special night to come..

We met up at Khaki Corner, Cheras for dinner.. The food is OK OK but it is the people coming that counts.. Around 9 plus, off we go heading to Genting!!!!!! 2 cars going!! Excited man.. The feelings is really.. EXCITING.. I'm smiling all the way on my face as well as in my heart when we're on the way up...

Chit chatting @ Starbucks, Highland Hotel.. AND!! It is raining.. Freezing cold man.. Happily we chit chatting, laughing and then it's time for cutting cake.. Thanks for the 'song' they sang to me.. Wahahahaha... And we took quite a lot of photos as well.. With all kind of expressions, the feeding cherry and all.. FUN!! Really FUN!! Haha... *wink* Then we went to walk around as we strongly feel that we MUST enjoy the coldness out there.. And it is really COLD!! Took some photos as well, with all kind of funny pose.. There're stories behind each of the photo.. Hahahahaha...

Reached home at 4am and I really appreciate everything that they done for me.. They're really caring and lovely.. Love them lots.. A GREAT start for my birthday celebration.. *wink*

Sat nite:
The Warmest, Happiest, Indescribable Birthday Celebration
This is really the day that I'm very looking forward to.. Hard Rock Cafe!!! It is somehow quite match with what I expected but still it is SURPRISING!! Hahaha.. Complicated huh.. Really thanks so much to them for the effort.. And I really have to say that, it is the people who celebrate with me that make the day SPECIAL.. As usual, we are talking, laughing and taking photo all the way.. I kinda love the environment and I'm proud of the Twisted Mac, Cheese and Chicken that I ordered.. Yummy!! But so damn full.. Wahahaha.. And needless me to say, the SPECIAL MOMENT is when the SPECIAL SOMEONE who give me a BIG SUPRISE outside the washroom.. Thanks so much to him.. Another SPECIAL moment would be when I'm standing on the chair, surrounded by so many people including my lovely buddies, singing birthday song to me.. I'm so happy at that moment!! AND!! The roses!! I never expect it.. I really never expect it.. Thanks so much to my dearie buddies!! That is really.. INDESCRIBABLE!! Thanks for giving me such a happy celebration!! You all had made it!! I'm PROUD of you all..!!! *Huggies*

Secound round @ Galaxy!! Long time I never been to sing K already and that is why I suggested to sing K.. Having a fun and great time there!! WooooHooooo!!!!!! And to Thomas, he really brought lots of laughter to us.. Hahahahahaa.. Laugh like craziee, since he insist... Wahahahahaha... =p

Mon Nite:
The MOST Unforgetable, Special and Romatic Birthday Celebration
The night started in its special way when he gave me the HUGE bouquet of flowers.. That is really considered HUGE to me!! I'm so touched and happy.. Lovely, he is really lovely.. Took some photos with the flowers before we off for our dinner.. Hehe.. He insist not to let me know the place for dinner but I already knew it when we reached Ampang.. I'm smart okie.. Wahahaha.. Tamarind Hill!!! A place that I wish to go and I only mentioned once long long time ago.. He remember it!! Lovely guy he is right.. A very very romantic and nice and SPECIAL place!! The food is OK but I just simply love the atmosphere and environment there.. Comfortable and Romantic!! Having our own sweet time there.. *smile*

After that we went for movie.. **FLUSHED AWAY** A very funny and meaningful one!! And guess what, I saw Nicholas Zhang and Carmen Soo, we're in the same hall.. Hahaha.. I guess they came to celebrate my birthday with me too.. hahahahahaha.. =p

And then... comes to the most romantic moments.. The night view, the surprising cake, the promises... This is the SWEETEST moment I ever had.. It will always stay in my mind and in my heart.. Sweet, simply sweet.. Love him so much.. so much.. Not gonna tell much here, it is gonna be the SWEETEST moment that will forever be with me.. *blush*

Thanks so much for the wishes, prezzies and the WONDERFUL celebration!! Thanks for the effort and all.. Love you all so much!! Thanks for made it happened!! Again I have to say that ~ I LOVE YOU ALL TO BITS.. Muacks!!

p/s: Flowers really works on gals.. Ok, On me.. =p I'd 3 bouquet for this year!!! *hehe*

I love him He loves me She loves him

I used to believe that nothing is impossible if both parties love each other very much wholeheartedly.. I know we love each other very much, I knew he loves me very much, but still the uncertainty is there.. Maybe we don't know how to handle it well, maybe nobody really know how to handle it well.. But I really cherish him.. a lot... With all the things that happened these days, I still can strongly feel... the feeling of being loved and cared deeply...

But somehow, there's a tiny voice asking me, if really so, then why this and that happened? I hate to have this kind of feelings...

It is not going to be easy for him.. He never expect all these to be happened.. To a gal who he'd loved before, even just a normal friend, seeing someone living such a miserable life, partly or mainly is because of him.. The feeling of sadness definitely will not be lower than mine and in addition, he felt guilty.. I felt sad... Sigh..

How if he back to her because of sympathy and guilty?
How if he back to her because he felt touched and very needed by her compared to me?
How if he never comes back to me again ever?

I tried to be understanding.. I knew I should be more understanding.. This is not the time to give him any pressure.. He needs to handle two gals, one is the one who he really loves (no doubt pls) and another one, who totally broken down because of him..

We never expect all these to be happened.. This is.. ridiculous.. I felt sympathy to this gal but I couldn't understand her feelings and her situation.. She is looking for someone she really love or she is just looking for someone who can take care of her messy things that even she herself also don't know how to settle it? Selfish.. very selfish...

I felt that both of us put him in a dilemma.. Both of us felt sad but her situation looks more miserable than me.. There's always a high possibility that guys will go to the weaker side isn't it? Yea, I'll lose then... But since when I'd been in a competition?? Haha.. Funny.. Sigh..

I thought I will just cry in front of him last night.. But I didn't, in fact I controlled my tears.. I just don't want to make a guy feel guilty and then requested him to be with me by using tears.. I don't want to be the same like her.. This is.. simply not good..

Sigh.. I felt... speechless..

If this couldn't work out, I don't know what is the meaning of love anymore..

I'm not alone...

but somehow... I felt loneliness...

Sigh..

Sometimes it is not the outcome but the process.. When the process wasn't carried out nicely, it is useless no matter how wonderful the outcome is.. What lies behind is only sadness and disappointment..

Positionless..
Directionless..
Pointless..