I love him He loves me She loves him

I used to believe that nothing is impossible if both parties love each other very much wholeheartedly.. I know we love each other very much, I knew he loves me very much, but still the uncertainty is there.. Maybe we don't know how to handle it well, maybe nobody really know how to handle it well.. But I really cherish him.. a lot... With all the things that happened these days, I still can strongly feel... the feeling of being loved and cared deeply...

But somehow, there's a tiny voice asking me, if really so, then why this and that happened? I hate to have this kind of feelings...

It is not going to be easy for him.. He never expect all these to be happened.. To a gal who he'd loved before, even just a normal friend, seeing someone living such a miserable life, partly or mainly is because of him.. The feeling of sadness definitely will not be lower than mine and in addition, he felt guilty.. I felt sad... Sigh..

How if he back to her because of sympathy and guilty?
How if he back to her because he felt touched and very needed by her compared to me?
How if he never comes back to me again ever?

I tried to be understanding.. I knew I should be more understanding.. This is not the time to give him any pressure.. He needs to handle two gals, one is the one who he really loves (no doubt pls) and another one, who totally broken down because of him..

We never expect all these to be happened.. This is.. ridiculous.. I felt sympathy to this gal but I couldn't understand her feelings and her situation.. She is looking for someone she really love or she is just looking for someone who can take care of her messy things that even she herself also don't know how to settle it? Selfish.. very selfish...

I felt that both of us put him in a dilemma.. Both of us felt sad but her situation looks more miserable than me.. There's always a high possibility that guys will go to the weaker side isn't it? Yea, I'll lose then... But since when I'd been in a competition?? Haha.. Funny.. Sigh..

I thought I will just cry in front of him last night.. But I didn't, in fact I controlled my tears.. I just don't want to make a guy feel guilty and then requested him to be with me by using tears.. I don't want to be the same like her.. This is.. simply not good..

Sigh.. I felt... speechless..

If this couldn't work out, I don't know what is the meaning of love anymore..