Life goes on...

As you all know, it will become a weekly update when I started work..

Things are always awkward when you started go into a completely new environment, meeting up with people you never seen before and bla.. I'm still not really used to the environment and people there.. And I'll start making comparisons like, things will not be like this when I was in AT and so on.. It's not that I'm regret of leaving AT, it's just that I'm still not used to it and I feel not comfortable, strange, awkward, kekok and etc, it might be my problem that I'm always not that outgoing, it takes time, I think..

Despite the environment and people, I'm actually quite ok with the job scope, at least I know I can learn and I've been given some responsibilities and tasks which is really quite pressure but yet, I felt contented with what I'm doing.. So, I just wish I can learn as much as I can, to perform my best, to see the significant improvement in myself, that is what I can control, and this is what that I always hope to do.. For the environment and people, I guess what I can do is just to let it be... That's not something that I can control tho it is kinda demotivated in some way.. But we always can't get everything perfect, aren't we?

Gosh, I'm not feeling happy at all although I just need to work one more day and I'll get two days holiday for the labour day and wesak day, can you believe that? The environment and the job scope is really pressure me in some way.. Really hope I can get through this real soon, I know I can get used to all this as time goes by, but at this point of time, this awkward feeling I have everytime I go to work is killing me!! Argh!!!

I've been keep reading all kind of article about how to cope with this kind of pressure, and I really hope it can help me in some way.. Somehow, I found out that reading can actually help me to release tension, I wish I can read HerWorld or CLEO at office everytime I feel pressure at office.. haha.. And then, my marks in KPSi will get deducted and bla.. Gosh!!

and still, GOSH!!!

Try to remember the kind of September

Try to remember the kind of September
When life was slow and, oh, so mellow.
Try to remember the kind of September
When grass was green and grain was yellow.
Try to remember the kind of September when
you were a tender and callow fellow.
Try to remember, and if you remember
Then follow~

Try to remember when life was so tender
That no one wept except the willow
Try to remember when life was so tender
that dreams were kept beside your pillow
Try to remember when life was so tender that
love was and ember about to billow
Try to remember, and if you remember
Then follow~

Deep in December it's nice to remember,
Although you know the snow will follow.
Deep in December it's nice to remember
Without a hurt, the heart is hollow.
Deep in december it's nice to remember
the fire of September that made us mellow.
Deep in December our hearts should remember,
And follow~

It's a song that you know why I wanted to post it up when you listened to it yourself..

=)

**Untitled**

**What I want to say is, I got to know from him that one of my not-so-close friend got back together with her ex.. I don't know what you all will think about got back to your ex.. Is it possible?? Maybe you will want to give both of you another chance but if you're so love each other, why you want to break up in the first place.. You've given up the relationship so easily and I'm sure that must be something very SERIOUS until you want to give up the relationship.. It needs courage and involved lots of consideration to do so.. But now you want to get back and give you another chance.. Ridiculous.. I don't know.. Just ridiculous..**

I wrote this at my previous blog.. And guess what, as per predicted, they breaking up again..

*sigh* *speechless*

Just my blablabla

Went to the Hair Saloon yesterday as I've been totally fed up with my hair for the past few weeks.. It really irritates me a lot as it was getting long, dry, messy and etc.. The condition is really bad and therefore, I decided to do something on my hair before I start my new job.. hehe.. Hair Cut+Treatment+Colour+some of the products costs me around RM500.. Gosh!! Anyway, I'm kinda satisfied with the outcome, I feel much better now.. =) I promise I'll not waste money on my hair anymore.. for this year.. =p

No wonder people said it's so easy to earn gal's money.. =p

Talked to Ann and Thomas the other day and seems like they're finding their own way to earn extra money.. I don't know but I really don't like to take this kind of risk.. Or maybe I should say - I dare not.. Yes, I'm pengecut.. Perhaps I should try to take the risk one day.. And who knows I'll become expert and billionaire then I can spend my money without any hesitation and then and then and then... Dream on... haha.. =p

How to maintain a relationship? I mean can we really control the outcome of a relationship? We can only try our best to protect it so that in future if it ends also we won't end it with regrets.. It's not about how we do, it's about how it had been destined and arranged, it seems like we're controlling it but in fact, we're just follow the path of how it had been arranged.. You get what I mean?? It's difficult sometimes as when you think that you'd been tried your best to protect it but it might cause some pressure to your the other half and then he wanted to end it as he cannot take the pressure anymore.. There're also cases when you love and trust him too much, give as much as freedom that he wants, he will also end it blaming that he'd been given too much freedom which caused him misuse the freedom and bla. There're always this kind of possibilities with different kind of weirdo reasons that you can't even expected and so, come back to the question, can you really control the outcome of a relationship? How can you make sure it will be a good ending? Sometimes when if it is a good ending also it doesnt mean both of you are happy with the ending.. And the story goes on.. Gosh!!

Perhaps I've been listened to too many sad stories which had ungkitkan my nature of pessimistic.. Tell me some good ending stories pls.. I need some fairy tale to balance my feelings now..

Perhaps we should just take it easy and enjoy whatever we had now, instead of keep thinking something that might or might not happen in the future, we couldn't control it either..

When it comes to work, the possibility to get a PERFECT job is always less than 50% I believe.. PERFECT means you love the job and you satisfied with the benefits, which included monetary and non-monetary as well.. It's always not easy to satisfy human's needs and wants anyway but how would you choose if you can only choose one? PAY or JOB SATISFACTION? High pay but you feel like you're working for no future OR you enjoying the work you're doing but you couldn't enjoy your luxurious life like others with the pay you got..

For me, I will actually choose to find a job that I can learn more and more and a lot.. It might be a less pay job, compare to others but still I would accept it if it can helps me in my future.. I don't have much commitment now and therefore I still can afford it, I should choose a job which I can learn more so that with the knowledge and experience I have, I can go for a higher position with a higher pay in future.. But somehow, I feel one kind also... Aih... my feelings has been very unstable lately..

A: Do you think that timing is very important to know someone?
E: Yea.. Very important..
A: It has been 3 years..
E: Yea...
A: It's hard to find someone that you really love.. It's not easy to get back the feelings..
E: Slowly lo..
A: Sometimes human made wrong decisions..
E: Maybe, but you still have lots of choices waiting for you ahead.. No worries..
A: Yes, no point looking back..

It's really no point looking back.. We'd our own life to live ahead.. =)

I love my bf.... wahahahahaha *blush*

Should or Should Not?

Yesterday night when we're coming out from KLFC, after meeting my bf's NEW housemate, there's a lady from China approaching us.. She said she went to Genting yesterday and had lost all her money.. Her friends went to S'pore and only will be back today.. She needs some money for her dinner.. Without wanna talking much to her, we straight away gave her rm10 and refused to give her our contact (as she said she wanna return the money to us), and then we heading home..

The first thought in my mind was, let's not think about whether she is actually cheated on us or not, we just don't want wasting our time dragging with her anymore as she keeps begging us.. And if she really needs the money, then we're just trying to help someone who are in needs.. We did something good, aren't we?

But after a while, the second thoughts come across my mind was - I feel lucky.. What if this is actually a trap where her another gang of ppl will suddenly jump out and stop our car and blablabla(touch wood!).. I felt lucky that she didn't do anything else except wanting money from us.. I feel lucky instead of happy tho it seems like we had actually help someone (who knows).. I rather being cheated on money.. Can you see the contradiction in it?

When we're small, adults keep telling us that we must help people who are in needs.. We learnt it in school as well.. But nowadays, should we help or should we not? By helping people might get us into trouble sometimes.. It's contradict, isn't?

I got scolded because of my kindness or should I say - stupidness/naiveness/brainless - whatever.. Maybe I should ignore it next time (Gosh, no next time pls) - to protect ourselves.. But you know you'll feel one kind when someone looks so helpless approaching you, but you pretend like you didn't see it and ignore her, you will feel one kind, won't you? But what if this is a trap?

What will you do if this happen to you? Should you help or Should you not?

Be tough, my friend..

Got an sms from one of my dearie friend about her brokeup with her bf yesterday, early in the morning.. It's really a shocking news for me, they're doing good all these while, as far as I know.. I got up and straight go to her house and just to be with her.. I know she needs someone to talk to at this very moment.. To be with her, talk to her, I can only do this much for her..

Not gonna tell in detail what's going wrong in their relationship, but I'm really feel sad about it.. She has been haunted for years about her first relationship and at last, she finally come out from it and willing to accept another relationship but this is how it ends, unexpectedly..

She is very calm, tears do drops but she didn't cry like anything like what I expected.. She still can analyse things rationally but she couldn't hide the deep depression in her eyes.. But I know she'll be tough enough to go through this, I'm proud of you, really.. But also, she is too calm until I don't know how should I comfort her, but I guess what she needs now is not my comfort, its our support - silent support, to let her know I'll be with her whenever and wherever she needs me.. That's all I can do.. *sigh*

It's pointless to crack our head and think of different kind of reasons and possibilities that leads to this end, what if we find out the real reason? Does it helps? Not at all. Must well we use the time to plan and think for our better future, isn't? I do encourage her to express all her feelings out, all her negative feelings.. It's ok to let yourselves fall as long as you know to get yourselves up.. Best wishes to you, and always remember, you've me to support you and be with you all the time.. I miss your pretty smiling face.. =)

When I'm home after visited my dearie friend, I find out that we actually quite rational and mature when talking about this.. Maybe because we've grown up, we're mature enough to handle our certain emotions and feelings and problems.. We'll think how to solve the problem instead of keep stucking into the problem.. We'll think how to make ourselves happy instead of thinking how to curse ppl =p.. Is it a good thing?? I don't know.. Somehow, I feel that she is too rational, I'm kinda worry about her.. Hope she will be tough enough to go through this hard time..

Another thing is, another friend of mine told me about Circle of Lies, I think he is too pessimistic about relationship but anyway, everyone has their own perception and opinion on love and relationship.. I'll see how he will explain this when he commit into a relationship.. Wahaha..

What I want to say is, I got to know from him that one of my not-so-close friend got back together with her ex.. I don't know what you all will think about got back to your ex.. Is it possible?? Maybe you will want to give both of you another chance but if you're so love each other, why you want to break up in the first place.. You've given up the relationship so easily and I'm sure that must be something very SERIOUS until you want to give up the relationship.. It needs courage and involved lots of consideration to do so.. But now you want to get back and give you another chance.. Ridiculous.. I don't know.. Just ridiculous..

Never say LOVE if you never meant so and same goes to, Never say BREAKUP if you didn't want so.. It hurts..

All in all, appreciate the one who is by your side now.. Do whatever you can to make both of you stay stronger and stronger.. It depends on fate also but at least you tried.. Even if it is not a good ending, you wouldn't end it with regrets..

Best wishes to all of you, especially *YOU*.. Love you and there're not only me who'll love and support you always, I believe you'll know...

=)

Good News

I'm wondering whether still got people viewing my blogspot.. haha.. My buddies never update their blogspot either.. So.. whatever.. =p

I think I should blog more in order to improve or at least maintaining my writing skills.. My english getting worse I've to say.. Gosh!!

I've got 2 job offer yesterday, I've chose one of them and I do really hope this is a good one.. It is my learning stage now.. I wish I can learn and polish myself, as well as to train and well prepare myself, for the better future..

I want to strive hard for my career!!! WooHoooooo..!!! ^_^

=)